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Open Adoption Letters

Open Adoption Letters

Hear from families who stayed connected.

Open adoptions are welcome at Advocates for Children and Families. They allow birth parents and adoptive families to correspond, sharing photos, videos, family history and monumental life moments. We provide access to all of the professional adoption services needed for the stability and success of the child's transition from one family to another.

While many birth and adoptive families have long foregone confidentiality – communicating and visiting one another directly – there are still a great number of families who rely on us as intermediaries. We are happy to help facilitate the open adoption process for you, ensuring both parties’ requirements are met.

In addition to birth parents, other family members (such as grandparents) or caregivers may also play a role in an open adoption, communicating with the child and/or the adoptive parents. It’s important to carefully weigh your options and consider all parties involved before deciding between an open or closed adoption.

Below, we share post-adoption letters from some of the special people who participate in and have benefited from open adoption.


POST ADOPTION LETTERS

Dear (Birth mother)

We were so excited and happy to receive your holiday card for [our daughter]. Of course, she is too young to understand who you are just now, but in due time, we will offer it to her. …We can tell you she is very special in many ways. …We love to hear from you and keep you in our thoughts and prayers all of the time, but especially on birthdays and holidays such as this. Please continue to be comforted by the fact that your baby is so loved and that when she is able to understand, we will do our best to explain the love you had and have for her which allowed you to place her with our family.

If there is anything else you would like to know, please just ask. We are open and willing to communicate with you.

All of our love,
Adoptive Parents

(Sample Letter From Participant In Open Adoption)


Dear (Adoptive Parents),

Happy anniversary—5 years!! It still feels like yesterday. It’s hard for me to believe that 5 years ago our paths crossed and our lives were changed forever. I miss you all very much and I sometimes dream of the four of you. … [The twins] are growing so big…. They certainly are beautiful … as usual, smiling and having the best of times. … Well, on a totally different note, I saw [the birth father] this past year. … He said he was glad that I didn’t hate him for dumping me. … He looks forward to his copy of the pictures though. … He was with his brother that never left his side so I couldn’t blast him like I wanted to, but, after a while, I didn’t feel angry anymore…. Well, life is very interesting, isn’t it though? … I feel so old today if only I felt as wise. May the years that come and go bring you all only the best of things and may G-d bless you and keep your dreams alive and coming true! All the best to you both, forever and always, and silent hugs and kisses for those two angels G-d brought to Earth. Thank you in advance again this year for those wonderful, glorious pictures. To see them smile is my sanctuary. I thank G-d all the time he brought you and I together. May He keep us all well.

Love, Birth Mother

(Sample Letter From Participant In Open Adoption)


Open Letter from a Birth Mother

"Well, I wasn’t sure how to start this. Like adoption, I’ve never done this before. And new things are a little scary at first. I am 20 years old, and putting my baby up for adoption. When I was pregnant with my first child, my Mom suggested adoption. I was appalled. How could anyone do that? Well, a year down the road I answered that question. "Things happen, and we have no way of knowing our futures. To say the least, I got pregnant again. I was having problems in my marriage and just barely taking care of my daughter. Definitely not a good situation. Things got worse, though. "In January my husband and I split up. So I went to live with my parents. Now a 20 year old and her one year old daughter had to depend on her parents. Another baby was going to be hard, very hard. That’s when adoption came up again. This time I was ready to listen. "I found an agency who was very helpful and answered all my questions! "Wow,” I thought, "it’s not so bad.” "It never dawned on me that I could give a family something so precious and feel good about it. To know you gave a family the greatest gift they can never give themselves. "Yes it is a very hard thing to do, and I have it pretty easy. My family and friend support my decision, which makes every day easier. To those who don’t have the support, I feel for you! Because adoption is not a bad thing. In fact, in my case it is the best thing I can do for the baby, myself, and my one year old daughter.

Signed,
Birth mother

(Sample Letter From Participant In Open Adoption)


Dear (Adoption Caseworker),

I was so happy to see these pictures of my boy. G-d, he looks just like me, I mean he looks just like me. I want you to tell [his patents] that they made me very happy, and I hope that they keep sending them to me. I want to tell them that I love them because they are the greatest people I’ve ever met. They are special to me… Hopefully you [will] give them this letter to let them know that…. To my adoptive parents. You’re the best. Love ya.

Signed,
Birth mother

(Sample Letter From Participant In Open Adoption)


Dear (Birth Mother),

You do not know how happy we were to receive your letter. I always tell people that [our son] is a very lucky boy to have two sets of wonderful parents. … I do agree that he looks a lot like you and I think he has your personality also. He is very friendly and is a happy baby. …I want you to know that we are keeping all of your letters for him when he grows up. We love you and wish you well always.

Signed,
Adoptive Parents

(Sample Letter From Participant In Open Adoption)


Dear [Child],

I want you to know no matter what happens, I will always love you. I am going to try to explain something to you that was very hard for me to do. I gave you up for adoption for your own benefit. I wanted you to have something better than what I could give you. I had gotten pregnant with you and I did not have a stable place to live. Your dad at that time did not want to help me out. Your dad and I did not get along so well. Neither one of us really had the money to raise you the proper way. My love is not enough to raise you. I had people in my life that would have [had] you taken away from me. I did not want to see you go through that. … I also want you to know, you couldn’t have asked for better adoptive parents.

Love always and forever,
Birth Mother

(Sample Letter From Participant In Open Adoption)


Dear (Adoptive Parents),

I really hope this letter finds you and your family doing well. … It is still really hard to deal with [my grandson] being gone. I thank the Lord every day and night that he gave us you to adopt him. I know you are both really wonderful people. He is lucky to have you both... I hope he will understand that what [my daughter] did was best for him. He may not be here, but I will always be his grandmother and he will always have a special place in my heart...

Signed,
Birth Grandmother

(Sample Letter From Participant In Open Adoption)


Dear ACF,

I just wanted to convey my thoughts and feelings to you as they relate to the recent adoption …. As you know, Cathie and I had the… baby for 10 weeks. During those 10 weeks, we both developed a considerable emotional attachment to him. After several weeks of multiple feeds and diaper changes, etc., I think one would have to have the emotions of an ice cube not to get attached.

I would encourage any foster parent who has had a baby basically from birth … to receive the adoptive parents in [their] home, not only for the adoptive parents to learn the formed habits of the child, but also to provide a smooth and gradual transition... The fact that we went from around the clock care providers to participating with the adoptive parents in the care of the child, to show them what the baby likes, his feeding habits, sleeping habits, discomforts, and calming routines, only enhance the alteration of care from foster parent to parent… It was a wonderful experience for all.

During my conversations with the [family] over the telephone, I kept telling them how lucky they were. They are lucky, but as it turned out it’s that little baby boy that’s luckiest. Thank you for allowing us the opportunity to have this experience.

Sincerely,
Foster Parents

(Sample Letter From Participant In Open Adoption)